The Ten Commandments of Crime

Life is apparently imitating comic book art — a Mafia Ten Commandments was uncovered during the bust of a Cosa Nostra crime boss, typed out in all-caps and written in code. Can the full Crime Bible be far behind?

According to the Associated Press:

"Police in Palermo said that the list opened with a preamble that said: 'I swear to be faithful to Cosa Nostra. Should I betray, my flesh will burn.' Under the category 'Rights and Duty' were the 10 entries, meant to be a sort of users' manual for the good mobster."

And what broken commandments will get you a flesh-burning? Ask, and the Interwebs will provide:

The Mafia Ten Commandments

1. No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.

2. Never look at the wives of friends.

3. Never be seen with cops.

4. Don't go to pubs and clubs.

5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty - even if your wife's about to give birth.

6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.

7. Wives must be treated with respect.

8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.

9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.

10. People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.

That "even if your wife is about to give birth" is pretty stern, but that's the Mafia for you.

Speaking of which, does this mean mobsters are comic book fans? And if some sort of real-life Crime Bible actually turns up — well, seriously, wouldn't that be AWESOME?

The Pull-list: 4-18-07

No time for love, Doctor Magnus! Who knew this whole "work" and "day-job" thing would be so demanding? Since I owe my soul to the company store, this weeks' pull-list is going to be charmingly simple - no fancy frills this time around.

Er ... yeah ... it's just a list. Sorry 'bout that. Keep your fingers crossed that work stops squatting on my head and giving me wet-willies before next week; now, on to the list!

52 #50: Almost there!

Army @ Love #2: I liked the first issue of this satire more each time I read it; looking forward to #2.

The Brave and The Bold #3: Pure awesome, now with more Blue Beetle.

Manhunter #30: Gets better and better; what hasn't killed it has made it stronger.

The Spirit #5: Great art, great writing and just a really great book.

Conan #39: Conan wants you to buy every book with his name on it, and I obey.


And maybe ...

World War III Parts 1-4: What the hell? Was I the only one who didn't know these four separate issues were coming out? And all at the same time? I feel a little manipulated here.

Death Dealer #1: Blame heavy metal album covers seeping into my head during my youth.


And if I could ...

The Professor's Daughter (graphic novel): First Second Books has been putting out some of the best original graphic novels for the past year or so, and this seems to be its latest addition to that list. A fun writer (though he did go on a bit in Vampire Loves) and gorgeous watercolor images puts this on my short list of trades and graphic novels.

The Pull-list: 4-11-07

Do you know how many comics I bought last week? Since I didn't post a pull-list the answer is, "No, 'cause you're a slacker-ass slacker. Slacker."

But if I had posted you might've been surprised to see only two - just two - comics on my list and one of them was 52, which almost doesn't count. This week is a different story, with plenty of buttery-fresh comics to pile on your plate. I don't know what that means either; on to the list!

52 #49: I can't believe I've been buying this comic every week for almost a year (that's one for you, DC). I haven't missed an issue and neither has DC, putting it out every week without fail, which is incredible when you think about it. Not every issue has been a success. Some have felt like placeholders, some have been awkwardly written (or more often, awkwardly drawn), and worst of all some have been just plain boring. But overall? I've enjoyed this series and I'll be a little sorry to see it go. Not sorry enough to pick up Countdown (in your face, DC!), but I'm glad I kept up with it. Something I will miss are the consistently fantastic covers - I think this one might be my all-time favorite of the bunch.

All Star Superman #7: I hate to sound like an aging fanboy who looks back at the comics of 30 years ago with a fondness usually reserved for junior high school girlfriends and other impossible things, but I really dig the Silver Age vibe Grant Morrison has put into this title. And what I really, really like about it is the fact that it's all of the fun with none of the stupid. Weird, crazy things happen on an alarmingly regular basis in Morrison's Metropolis, but for some reason it all makes sense and even has an undertone of menace. Bad things happen and Superman can't save everyone, even though he tries like hell. My only complaint: Wasn't Superman supposed to be dying? What's happened to that little plot-point? Hopefully it'll be picked up again in this issue and if not ... who cares, it's got Bizarro! Oh, and Frank Quitely's doing his best work here, so check it out. first issue preview

BPRD Garden of Souls #2: So I typed something out, changed my mind because it sounded so corny and deleted it, and then changed my mind again because there's just something special about B.P.R.D. The title is melancholic and beautiful, with an atmosphere and characters that seem undeniably lonely. Everyone has questions and no one has all the answers, and in a weird way you relate to these fire-starters and fish-men. Sure, there are all sorts of supernatural goings-on, but they almost seem secondary to the missions of self-discovery the characters are put through. This is, quite frankly, the most emo book I read and I make no apologies. Plus, there's almost always some terrible monster that wants to eat someone's face. preview

Conan and The Midnight God #3: Dark Horse has been putting out so many Conan books that I actually have trouble keeping them all straight. But it doesn't really matter, because almost all of them have been winners (still looking at you, Jewels of Gwahlur). This is the second mini-series to tell a story of King Conan, and it's interesting to see the differences in the older, somewhat wiser ruler of Aquilonia. Of course, it's also fun to see things haven't changed that much; when someone talks smack and threatens his wife and country, the first thing Conan does is grab a sword and declare war. I've said it before about other Conan books and I'll happily, even giddily, say it again; somebody's gonna get their head chopped off. preview

Fell #8: Tell me you're reading Fell. Seriously, pleeeease tell me you've been reading Fell. If you haven't been reading this title, a: I pity you, and b: I pity you some more. And also kick you. Each issue is a self-contained story about police detective Richard Fell and the creepy city of Snowtown, where everyone seems a little screwed up and where they do very screwed up things to each other. Warren Ellis keeps his stories to a tight 19 pages, using recurring characters and themes that tie everything together while hinting at a larger plot. Plus, the gorgeous artwork of Ben Templesmith helps make the stark and moody Snowtown a character in itself. Do yourself a favor and pick this up (and avoid the ankle bruising). read the first issue!

Madman Atomic Comics #1: I have a soft spot for Madman. I'm not saying I always understand what's going on, but still. OK, let me try to explain a little: Frank Einstein (who's name isn't really Frank Einstein) was a guy who died and came back, complete with amnesia, blue skin, better-than-average acrobatic skills and a little pseudopod thingy that wiggles its way out of his forehead every now and then. He's got a hot girlfriend, a mad scientist for a mentor, and lives in a world that 50s sci-fi movie directors would tut-tut as unrealistic. There are random acts of philosophy. Mutant beatniks. A copius amount of robots. People say "ginchy" and "swell" without irony. Madman is basically a lot of fun, and I've heard that this first issue of the relaunch is a sort of flashback to past storylines, so now's a great time to hop on if you haven't already. preview

Utopiates #4: I've got a problem with Utopiates - I had a hard time finding it anywhere. I picked up the first issue at my local comic shop and naively thought I'd be able to pick it up the next month. Which means I didn't put it on my pull-list. Which means I missed the second issue because NOT ONE of the many comic shops in Austin was carrying it. Even the people at the big, popular store that prides itself on having the best indie selection in the city looked at me as if I was asking for a fried weasel. According to the publishers, I'm not the only one having this problem, and they're asking readers to tell their favorite shops to order copies of Utopiates so people can find it and, hopefully, become regular readers. I learned my lesson and put this title on my list after missing the second issue, and you should, too. Utopiates is a smart and interesting read about a near-future world where a drug offers what might be the ultimate addiction - the chance to be someone else, even if just for a little while. It doesn't hurt that this black-and-white indie is great to look at, with a style that manages to be photorealistic and sketchy at the same time. Do yourself - and the title - a favor and ask your store to put it on the shelves. (Oh, but don't look for this cover because I couldn't find an image for #4; this was the cover to #3. Something to think about, Bloodfire Studios). first issue preview

Wasteland #8: The concept behind this title shouldn't work. It's set in a post-apocalyptic world where everyone's agreed it's Western Day. There are mutants in the desert, hoity-toity "benefactors" running one of the only cities left, and a Man With No Name (OK, he's got a name, but you know what I mean) shepherding a bunch of refugees to civilization. It doesn't really sound like anything new, right. But it's so damn good! Wasteland is one of the best books of the year so far, with a subtly complex storyline bolstered by simple but evocative artwork. The first volume has been collected in trade, and I'd recommend starting with that and picking things up with the monthly issues - you don't want to miss what's been going on, and you won't want to wait until the next trade comes out. preview

The Pull-list: 3-14-07

Wow, it looks like a short week for the Post. Luckily for me, this week's all about quality, not quablah-blah-blah! Let's go!

52 #45: Funny how things turn around, isn't it? Not funny-ha-ha, more like funny oh-my-God-am-I-stepping-on-intestines? For the most part, I'm still enjoying 52, but I don't think I'd say it's as much fun as it had been in the first two-thirds of its run. The storyline has taken a much darker turn in the last few issues, and the transition has been a little jarring. Overall it continues to be a solid story, and honestly there hasn't been anything in the plot that doesn't make at least some kind of sense, but shouldn't readers get a little more warning before you start slapping them around? Then again, you can bet Black Adam's gonna snap and that bastard's crazy.

B.P.R.D.: Garden of Souls #1 (of 5): Mike Mignola long ago set a high bar for himself and his collaborators with the world of Hellboy, and that bar keeps inching up. Subtle horror-action stories stay true to the background while still building on it, and at the same time weave in almost invisible plot lines between stories to keep everything tied together. Top it off with well-chosen art and you've got a modern classic that continues to build on it's own mythology. Don't believe me? Blasphemer! Why don't you check out the preview, you dirty non-believer. Dirty, dirty ... um ... sorry, what were we talking about?

The Damned #5: Hands-down, this has been one of my favorite mini-series of the last 12 months or so; if there is a god - or a devil - there'll be more of The Damned after it wraps things up with this final issue. I've mentioned before how much I've enjoyed this series, and it's a gift that keeps on giving. A nice little noir mystery is wrapped up in a world of demon gangsters, an undying flunky anti-hero and an ex-girlfriend who's now the moll of a mob boss (you decide which is the most dangerous). And did I mention that the art is awesome? 'Cause it is.

Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse #6: Huh ... the list is certainly heavy on the supernatural this week, ain't it? Can I help it if there's been a nice little rise in quality horror-based comics? Can I?!? The answer is yes, by buying the good stuff like Wormwood and encouraging everyone out there to fork it over, too. Look at this preview. There's great, tongue-in-rotting-cheek characters, a fun story with an undercurrent of menace, and beautifully unique artwork that gets better with every issue - seriously, how can you resist pit-fighting leprechauns? Or a demon-worm occupying the corpse of a little girl? You can't, so just stop trying.

The Pull-list: 3-7-07

Hey, look! It's our old pal, The Pull-list! Let's grab a mocha-frappa-something and get reacquainted, whad'ya say?

52 #44: So … Sobek, huh? I’ve been enjoying 52 so far, and I’ve got to admit the steadily darkening tone has me curious about what’s next. Still, I was prepared for the death of the Question, and I dug the burned-out detective shtick of Ralph Dibney, but the whole talking-croc-eating-a-young-hero thing caught me off-guard. I’m still not even sure how I feel about the way the scene was handled (“vaguely disappointed” comes to mind), but I do know I’m curious to see how this whole “World War” business 52 has been building toward finally turns out. I just hope they remember that less really can be more.

Borrowed Time #2: Remember the first installment of Borrowed Time? Me too, but just barely since Volume 1 came out in May 2006. But in spite of taking almost a year between chapters, this title made enough of an impact with clean, moody art and a subtly spooky plot that I’m looking forward to picking up where I left off. I’ll have to re-read Volume 1 so I can remember what’s going on first, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. As long as we don’t have to wait another year for Volume 3.

Captain America #25: Well! Look at Marvel trying to be cute with its “classified information.” Feh! It just means no picture for you, Captain America! Actually, Cap can get away with the Web site blackout because this has consistently been one of the publisher’s better titles, with a storyline that’s affected by the Civil War storyline but isn’t bogged down by it. It seems pretty obvious that Brubaker had a story to tell before that bloated “event” kicked off, and he hasn’t let it keep him from telling a lean and muscular espionage yarn. Holy crap, did I just say “yarn?”

Fall of Cthulhu #0: The titles coming out of Boom! Studios have been kind of hit-or-miss for me, often suffering from what seem like strong starts out of the gate only to end up sort of meandering over to a shiny hot dog stand instead of crossing the finish. But man, they really hit it when it comes to the Cthulhu Mythos, so you’d better believe I’m ready for this regular series. The Cthulhu Tales one-shots got me hooked, and now I’ll get to mainline my Mythos on a regular basis.

Manhunter #29: Fighting its way back from imminent death not once but twice, maybe Manhunter will now find the audience it deserves. Great characterization and a richly human hero made the title a favorite of mine from the beginning, but for some reason it’s struggled to find the numbers needed to keep the publishers from poking it with the cancellation stick. Supposedly the title is back for good, so make sure you put this on your montly must-get list now that you’ve got another chance.

Shazam: The Monster Society of Evil #2 (of 4): Whenever a character gets the “reimagining” treatment, it almost never turns out too well. Someone always ends up EXTREME! Maybe with some shiny new armor. EXTREME!! And a troubled past. EXTREME!!!! Writer and artist Jeff Smith doesn’t do any of this, and gets his retelling of the Captain Marvel origin damn near perfect. All the familiar background elements are there, but Smith makes them his own and even manages to add to the Marvel mythology in ways that make sense. If there isn’t more to come after this four-parter ends, then there is no Wizard Shazam.

Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters #8 (of 8): Speaking of extreme makeovers, Uncle Sam is a grittier version of ye old Freedom Fighters (am I the only one who still digs on the All-Star Squadron?), but a fairly solid plot and interesting characterization has kept me hooked all the way to the end. The art tends to get distracting, but also pays off with plenty of iconic images; to be honest, if another artist ever takes over these Freedom Fighters, it’ll probably look weird to me now.

And maybe …

Dynamo 5 #1

Jefferey Brown’s Feeble Attempts #1

Strongarm #1

The Pull-list: 1-17-07

Is being iced in for two days going to stop this week's pull-list? Hell no (but I might be getting my comics late this week, dammit)!

52 #37: I think it's been established that, unless DC pulls a Kramer or does something idiotic like bring back Jason Todd (oops), I'll be getting this title each and every week. But c'mon, DC, would it kill you to keep up to date on your gallery? Where's this weeks' cover? There's nothing online after issue #36, and I have to admit that it makes me a little nervous. If the cover isn't ready, what kind of shape is the book in? I've got my fingers crossed that it isn't a bad sign and 52 will still be on schedule.

Conan #36: King Conan, Picts and a hot witch is really all I need to sell me on this, but it doesn't hurt that this is the second part of a storyline that started strong and managed to be in perfect tune with this series' version of the mighty barbarian. Plus, I'm preeeety sure somebody will be chopped up with a big-ass sword.

Conan and The Midnight God #1: Holy crap! I'll say this for Dark Horse - they keep the Conan comin'. I've been happy with most of the Conan minis that have been released alongside the regular run (with the exception of the mostly forgettable The Jewels of Gwahlur), so it's a safe bet that this will be worth picking up. Hell, it might be worth it for the Jason Alexander covers alone.

Desperadoes: Buffalo Dreams #1: I'm glad that Western comics - grittier and a little more conscious of history - have been enjoying a resurgence, and I'm not sure how I missed Desperadoes. Especially since the title first premiered in 1997! But Buffalo Dreams sounds interesting, and I'm willing to play catch-up for something that's had enough staying power to pop up periodically for the last 10 years. It'd almost seem rude not to.


Green Lantern #16: I've gushed over this title enough that, quite frankly, I'm a little embarrassed. But the art is great, it's the character of Hal Jordan at his Hal Jordaniest and it's a straight-up superhero comic that doesn't pretend to be anything else. And, unlike Green Lantern Corps, it's almost completely Guy Gardner free (seriously, why do people love that ... er, guy?).

The Spirit #2: This updated version of Will Eisner's legendary character works for one very simple reason: creator Darwyn Cooke gets it. In every panel and layout and line of dialogue, it's easy to see that Cooke is a fan, and that love for the character makes it seem almost as if the Spirit never left. Rebooting the Spirit could have easily been screwed up in a million different and painful ways - this book goes in the much more difficult direction by creating something new with all the heart of the original.

The Pull-List: 1-10-07

Huh ... it looks like another small week for the Post, but it promises to be chock-full of kick-assery. Without further ado (but with maybe a little zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom), here's what this week's pull is shaping up like.

52 #36: I just realized 52 is about two-thirds of the way through. If my math is correct - and it almost never is - then this maxi-series should be just about in the last part of the traditional three-part story arch. Try to contain your excitement! Basically what I hope this means is that 52 will now start picking up the pace, putting pieces together and unveiling the big reveals that have been sat on for 36 weeks. Oh, and I know I cased on the interior art last week, but the covers? Gorgeous and iconic.

Agents of Atlas #6: Marvel has only deepend my antipathy for its stuff with the Civil War hullabaloo (now with added delays!), but somehow the publisher has discovered a secret elixer or sacrified a virginal goat because a lot of its recent limited series have been hitting it out of the park. Agents of Atlas wraps it up with this issue, and I've been waiting for it like it was four-color crack; it's a fun, modern adventure yarn with a wry string of retro threaded in, with characters that speak to the best of what Marvel used to be. Previous issues have really, really made me want to know what happens next, and isn't that what comics are supposed to do? If you haven't been buying the singles, be sure to pick up the trade when it comes out.

Justice Society of America #2: A friend of mine from the comic shop I used to work at turned me on to the JSA, and after reading all the trades in stock I was pretty much in love. I loyally started getting the single issues. I recommended it to anyone who was interested. And then that fickle bitch turned on me. For some reason, the title started sucking hard and I had to drop it. Luckily, they launched this new JSA title and it's just kooky enough to work. Please, JSA - don't break my heart again. Oh, and I was going to post a link to the preview, but it's actually a preview for Outsiders - and nobody needs that.

Utopiates: When I heard the name "Utopiates," my first thought was, "Urgh." I was prepared all the way down to the cockles to hate this book, expecting to find art that thought "indie" meant it was OK to be "crappy," and text that went through the same cyberpunk motions a million other writers have already exhausted. Utopiates, I owe you an apology. After checking out the preview I'm cautiously jazzed (yes, jazzed, damn you!) about this title. The art is obviously lovingly and thoughtfully rendered, and the gritty, near-future sci-fi plot - while familiar - is intriguing. If it doesn't fall apart halfway through, I can see this becoming a regular on the list.

The Pull-List: 1-3-06

Wow - is this week small or what? Let's kick this midget, shall we?

52 #35: I might as well tell you now; this is going to be on the list until we reach #52. It's almost out of spite at this point, and I'll be damned if this mostly-entertaining-but-sometimes-slipshod title is going to beat me. You hear that, 52? Your stapled ass is mine. But can someone get some consistent art going in this thing? I haven't picked up 52 #34 yet (let's hear it for the holidays), but #33 started strong and then slid into artwork that made me laugh - and not in a good way.

All Star Superman #6: If it seems like you've been waiting forever for this issue of All Star Superman, it's not just the anticipation that comes from waiting for a well-written and creatively drawn superhero comic. It's because the last issue came out THREE MONTHS AGO! All Star Superman is supposed to be a bimonthly, but c'mon! Is it really going to be worth the wait? Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is.

Manhunter #27: I've got a pretty solid geek-crush going for Manhunter, and I like the way they've been drawing the character deeper into the DC universe. This title has been on my list since it started, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

The Pull-List: 12-20-06

What's that? What am I planning to bring home from the comic shop this Wednesday? So glad you asked!

52 #33: Yes, I'm a whore. Shut up. At least it's been on time, which is pretty incredible considering it's weekly, and the story has been enough to keep me interested. Though there's been quite enough of Lobo, thanks. I care more about what's going on back on Earth, what with the Supernova and the Batwoman and all, and hey! Look who's on this week's cover!

Conan #35: I'm just going to say it: Timothy Truman's a better writer than he is an artist. His stuff on Grimjack was great, as was his work on the Jonah Hex minis he did with Joe R. Lansdale, but I'm getting a little tired of evil guys with scarves and little pointy teeth. Besides, his writing is perfect for Conan, and he seems to have a natural feel for the big guy and the world he slices his way through. I was thinking of going to trades on this title, but Truman convinced me that I need a monthly fix.

Elephantmen #5: The talking animals thing isn't usually something I lean to, but Elephantmen is five kinds of awesome, two of which can't be perceived without special scientific instruments. What more could you ask for besides great art, strong storytelling and characters you care about? I came late to the whole Elphantmen/Hip Flask party, but now that I'm here it's going to take an empty snack table and a call to the cops to keep me away.

New Avengers #26: Maybe. The whole Civil War rigamarole has turned me off to everything but Captain America, and I don't see things getting any better. I've never been a huge fan of Scarlet Witch, either, and I get a feeling things are just going to get sillier and sillier the longer this goes on. Flashbacks of Spider-Clones and random resurrections keep me awake at night. I was enjoying New Avengers based mostly on the different personalities brought out by the new team ... but yeah, a definite maybe. Which means maybe not.

Pirates of Coney Island #3: A bizarre world, art that borders on ugly with a color scheme that makes you want to pop someone, and not-so-nice people makes me a happy boy. I don't know what the point of Pirates is supposed to be, but I don't care.

Union Jack #4: A neat little mini-series, and one of my recent favorites. B-grade characters I never thought I'd care about bring solid art and a lean and fast-moving story to life, combining spandex and spycraft in a believable mix. But I don't know if I want a regular series of Union Jack - keep it to minis and maybe it won't get screwed up.