Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Only sorta about comics (but not really)

The other day my wife and I were telling a co-worker about our hometown, and somehow the conversation ended up on Jay J. Armes, a former city council member and WORLD-FAMOUS PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR!

Since I grew up with Armes as a regular part of the landscape, it was easy to forget how much pure awesome this guy is packed with; I don't remember him being much of a councilman, but check out this resume:

Blew off both of his hands with dynamite when he was 12, later replacing them with gripping steel hooks!

Last name: Armes!

Rescued Christian-son-of-Marlon Brando from kidnappers!

Has a specially made prosthetic housing a .22 magnum!

Played a deranged sniper called The Hookman on Hawaii Five-O!

Has his own action figure!

Runs his own international PI business!

Has a movie in development with Stan Lee's company, Pow Entertainment! (there's your comicy content)

OK, honestly, I don't know what's going on with that development deal since it was first announced in January 2005 and I haven't been able to dig up anything more recent, but I hereby officially support this film. According to some sources, Scott Lobdell (more comicness!) has already written a first draft of the script.

And it's called "Hooked" for God's sake. This, kids, is Stan the Man's special genius.

If nothing else, looking all this up helped endear him to me all over again (he would genuinely seem like a nice guy when you ran into him around town). His huge plot of land, only a couple of miles from where I lived, was legendary in my neighborhood. I didn't grow up in a well-off area, so a mysterious compound surrounded by a tall golden fence featuring gates emblazoned with a huge "J.J." and crossed guns had an effect. Plus, he was known to have jungle cats that prowled the property after dark.

Holy crap ... I think I just overdosed on kick-assery.

I hope the movie does get made someday. At the very least, I'd love to see a Human Target-style comic come out of this - after all, the guy's practically OMAC! He's even got a similar affection for wacky head decor.

How could you lose?

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