Friday Night Fights: The final countdown!

It's the final round of Friday Night Fights: Feet of Fury, and like the West Coast Sharks I'm in it to win it!

With victory in sizzling in my brain, I've unleashed the most brutal, the most classic, the most iconic face-plant in history. Witness the Grimmest Son of Gotham putting the hurt on the Kryptonite Kid!


It's so packed with awesome, I'm surprised no one else has ... has ...

... aw, crap.



Panel from Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
Frank Miller, writer and artist

Special thanks to Scott for asking me to play along!

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Friday Night Fights: Catching up

I've been absent from the Spacebooger sponsored mayhem known as Friday Night Fights lately, so I've just got one thing to say:



Panel from She-Hulk: Single Green Female, Vol. 1
Dan Slott, writer; Juan Bobillo, artist


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Friday Night Fights: Felonious thunk!

It's been a while since I've taken part in the storied slugfest known as Friday Night Fights, so I figured this first round was no time to play nice.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a fighter so tough her name alone is a serious crime:


Kyle Baker is one of my favorite creators, and his work on the knife-edged satire Special Forces should be required reading because really war is hell — even if you're a scantily clad, ass-kicking soldier called Felony.


Panel from Special Forces #2
Kyle Baker, writer and artist


Don't call it a comeback — I been here for years!

Friday Night Fights: Dimebag has a posse

If I had to suddenly get some men together to go round up those no-good Bolling boys, I think my first choice might be the members of Pantera — they seem to have the right attitude for the job.

Here we come, reach for your gun
And you better listen well my friend,

You see, its been slow down below,
Aimed at you, we're the cowboys from hell!

Deed is done, again we've won
Ain't talking no tall tales friend,

Cause high noon, your doom,
Comin' for you, we're the cowboys from hell!

Second choice: Willie Nelson and the Ghost of Johnny Cash.


Panels from "Luke Short's Bounty Guns"
Adapted from "Bounty Guns" by Luke Short; comic writer and artist uncredited

Lyrics from "Cowboys from Hell" by Pantera

Ass-kicking hosted by Spacebooger!

Friday Night Fights: I mean, have you seen how those guys play hockey?!

Not for nothin', but y'know who kicks ass?

That's right — Canadians.

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!

With a national anthem like that, Ranark the Ravager didn't have a chance against Sasquatch, our orange-furred boy from the Great White North. True, Ranark might technically be Canadian too, but seriously — that guy's just a dick.


Following a link? Read more Great Caesar's Post here! (And if you're not, be sure to check out more musical mayhem over at the Spacebooger arena.)


Pages from Marvel Two-in-One #84
Tom DeFalco, writer; Ron Wilson, penciler; Chic Stone, inker

Lyrics from "O! Canada," composed by Calixa Lavallée; original French lyrics by Sir Adolphe-Basile Routhier.

Friday Night Fights: Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil!

Spacebooger has declared Friday Night Fights will be musical number this time around, and I can't think of a better way to kick it off than with one of the most brutal fight scenes ever committed to a comics page, featuring Elektra and Bullseye —and accompanied by the equally brutal Lemmy Kilmister.

Crank it up!

Pushing up the ante, I know you've got to see me

Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again

I see it in your eyes, take one look and die

The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be,
The Ace Of Spades!
The Ace Of Spades!

And things just get worse for Elektra ... but at least Bullseye never actually sings.

Pages from Daredevil #181
Frank Miller, writer and artist; Klaus Janson, finished art and colors

Lyrics from "Ace of Spades," by Motorhead

Friday Night Fights: Black Adam - Youth Counselor

So, Mr. Young Frankenstein, have you learned your lesson?


Now take a lap.

And no smoking behind the gym with Spacebooger!


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Panel from World War III #3
John Ostrander, writer; Tom Derenick, penciller; Norm Rapmund, inker

Friday Night Fights: The circle of life!

OK, I was going to put in some kind of lame joke about how hard it is to train cats, but seriously, if you go around calling yourself LION-MANE, you deserve to get face-maced by Hawkman.


Really, you're just asking for it.

(Just be glad Spacebooger isn't the one answering.)


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Panel from Hawkman #41
Justin Palmiotti and Justin Gray, writers; Joe Bennett, penciller

Friday Night Fights: Because sometimes words hurt, too

The other day a friend and I were enjoying some conversation out on the porch, and we were discussing the crazy slang the youngsters are using nowadays. We were trying to remember a particular phrase, but for some reason neither one of us could remember it — all we could recall was that it was the sort of thing that would get you a punch in the face. Now, what was it? Talking ... talking ...


That's it! Thanks, Zot! Now get off my lawn, ya punk, and take your giant killer robot with you!

(Don't worry — Spacebooger'll turn the hose on 'em ... damn kids and their baggy pants ...)


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Panel from Zot! #1
Scott McCloud, writer and artist

Can you smell what the Hulk is cooking?!?

Whew, nothing like a stale wrestling reference to freshen things up after a week without updates, right? Sorry about the radio silence, guys — some family business and a pile of work that just got bigger during the few days I was out of town did a nifty job of keeping me from posting. Things seem to be settling down a bit, so hopefully I'll be back on what I laughingly call my "schedule" next week.

But hey, you didn't come here to hear me cry about not blogging; you came here to see the Hulk make an elephantman cry. Well, you're in luck!


The next time someone is debating whether or not the Hulk is more man than monster, they should remember the time he actually made a Dumbo reference in the middle of a fight.

Spacebooger once saw a needle that winked its eye — so he punched it.


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Panel from The Incredible Hulk #253
Bill Mantlo, writer; Sal Buscema, artist

Friday Night Fights: Who's hungry for some Conan?

Luckily for fans of the sullen-eyed Cimmerian, Conan is not the guy getting his face chomped on by a blood-thirsty swamp fiend. No, that dubious honor goes to an unnamed and unlucky sap who thought his friends were right when they said tying Conan up and taking him prisoner would be a good idea.

We can see how that turned out for Conan's captors: After all, who do you think encouraged them to take a shortcut through the swamp in the first place?

Oh, Conan — you rascal!

If you're looking for more high-spirited (and highly painful) hijinks, Spacebooger is happy to provide.


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Panel from The Savage Sword of Conan #172
Chuck Dixon, writer; Mike Docherty, penciller; Ian Akin and Brian Garvey, inkers

Friday Night Fights: Kalibak is a big John Cusack fan

OK, Kalibak, you've made it to the final round and you have a chance to win the game! You've chosen "80s Movies" as your category so let's begin.

For $800 and a year's supply of Turtle Wax® brand Club Polish, ring in and finish the title of this film: "Better Off ..."

I don't know what hurts more, the Fourth World beating or that joke.

Still, for sheer cosmic-level brutality it's hard to beat the King, a lesson Orion learns after Kalibak hits him so hard half his face disappears!

Something tells me Spacebooger would approve.


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Panel from Jack Kirby's Fourth World Omnibus: Vol. 3
Jack Kirby, writer and artist

Friday Night Fights: Hit it!

Y'all ready ...


Doc Samson and the Rhino have already hit the floor, but if you still need a partner I'm sure Spacebooger and the O.P.P. crew can hook you up.


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Panel from The Incredible Hulk #218
Len Wein and Roger Stern, writers; George Tuska and Keith Pollard, artists

Friday Night Fights: Bringing a whip to a gunfight?

You know how the Punisher likes to tell criminals he's going to "turn 'em into dog food?" It's a little known fact, but in the old days Frank Castle enjoyed turning crooks into a delicious spiced ham product.

And then he'd shoot you.


One shot is all Spacebooger needs!

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Panel from Amazing Spider-Man #135
Gerry Conway, writer; Ross Andru, artist

Friday Night Fights: Hulk and The Thing fight dirty!

So what do you do when you're the Hulk and giant monsters like the living mountain of mud named Taboo have invaded New York?

You throw Things at them!

Aah ... there's nothing quite like getting your hands dirty on a Friday Night.


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Panel from Monsters on the Prowl #1
Steve Niles, writer; Duncan Fegredo, artist; Moose Bauman, colorist

Friday Night Fights: Colossal Boy also has a subscription to Low Rider magazine

Man, you DO NOT want to mess with Colossal Boy's ride:

Of course we all know, Spacebooger's other car is a meat wagon.


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Panel from The Legion of Super-Heroes #301
Paul Levitz, writer; Keith Giffen, penciller; Larry Mahlstedt, inker

Friday Night Fights: The way superheroes go slumming

It's Friday and that means it's time to get violent! And in this round of Spacebooger-sponsored fisticuffs we've got ... hey, who is this guy?!

Think you know the identity of this hero-in-disguise? Give me your guess in the comments!

I also want to let everyone know that with the holidays nearly upon us, the Post will be going to low-, or no-, content mode until after Jan. 2. I hope to get a post in here and there, but I can't guarantee anything. In the meantime, thanks for reading, thanks for your patience, and — Happy Holidays!


Panel from ???
Marv Wolfman, writer; John Byrne, artist; Terry Austin, inker

Friday Night Fights: Why Badger is a master of communication

Imagine you find yourself on a planet completely unknown to you, a world where you can't tell friend from foe, or aid from threat. And imagine you came across an alien life form, a being that could potentially help you, maybe even keep you alive in your harsh new environment — and whom you've decided is named Larry. How would you handle such a delicate situation?

Now imagine you're the Badger.

Badger's not the only one having fun — take that, Prime Directive!


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Panel from Nexus #8 Mike Baron, writer; Steve Rude, artist;
Eric Shanower, inker; John Workman, letterer; Les Dorscheid, colorist

Friday Night Fights: El Gorgo will handle the introductions, lizard-face!

When I was prepping for the latest round of Spacebooger-sponsored mayhem, I had to ask myself a serious question: Is the time right to unleash a largely unproven but totally awesome young fighter? Is the rough-and-tumble underworld of Friday Night Fights the place to help introduce a mysteriously multi-talented brawler with, shall we say, mad skillz?

Can the crowd handle the sheer mind-blowing spectacle of a gorilla luchador delivering crippling blows and smack-talk to an airborne Servant of Dagon?!?

¡Fantastico! Why don't you tell the folks a little bit about yourself, big guy?

Couldn't have said it better myself!

If you'd like to get to know El Gorgo better (and really, why wouldn't you?), you can catch up with the full first issue at the Web site, and then check out the eight-page preview of issue #2. If you decide you like the idea of a Mexican wrestler ape fighting Lovecraftian horrors on the moon of Titan wrapped up in a definite Kirby aesthetic, show your support of independent publishers and buy your own copy of the first issue.

¡Que padre!


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Panels from El Gorgo #2
Mike McGee, writer; Tamas Jakab, artist

Friday Night Fights: Superman reinvented 'power steering'

Things have been especially busy here at GCP-HQ today, but there was still time to squeeze in the first round of the new Friday Night Fights!

And even though this post is light on content, I think it's OK because the Supermobile pretty much speaks for itself.

SUPERMOBILE!!

(I wonder if our new ringmaster Space Booger has a ride like this?)

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Panel from Action Comics #481
Cary Bates, writer; Curt Swan, penciller; F. Chiaramonte, inker