Friday Night Fights: Railroaded!

Not only is Jonah Hex the deadliest gun in the West, but when he punches you in the face ...


... brother, it's like getting hit by a FREIGHT TRAIN.


(If you're going to wager, always bet on Bahlactus.)

Panel from Showcase Presents Jonah Hex Volume 1, originally printed in Weird Western Tales #23

I like you, but I'm breaking up with you

Comic books fans have a reputation - not completely undeserved - of being fickle. We expect a lot from our obsession, and we're willing to drop a title the minute an artist or writer we don't like takes over, or if a costume is changed, or if a character does something we think is, well, out of character.

But we are also intensely loyal, and this shows in how we shop. Or actually, in where we shop. Most regular comic book readers I know have a particular store they go to, a place that they consider their shop. This is where they go first, and a lot of times it will be the only place they go. And even if they have some gripes about it, they'll always go to their store.

Until they don't.

Let me explain what got me thinking about this. I like the store I go to, but it also drives me crazy. Since it's a smaller shop, it carries a mostly mainstream selection, which is fine since I read a lot of mainstream books. But, I also read indie titles and books that don't dress up in spandex, and that means I either have to place a special order or go to another shop to get everything on that week's list. The problem with a special order is it either takes weeks to be filled, or someone goofs and the order is never placed at all.

I usually end up going to the back-up shop for whatever's missing at my regular store. Every week.

Honestly, if I was better about ordering things in advance, that would take care of most of my problems with the shop. And like I said, I like my shop. It:

• is staffed by very nice people who make an effort to know what I'm in to
• offers a 15 percent discount to subscribers
• is literally blocks from my home

The back-up shop is more of a schlep (but still not that far, really) and doesn't offer any regular discounts (except 10 percent off graphic novels). They do, however, have almost every title being published in a given week.

But I doubt I'll switch. My main shop has built enough goodwill that I want to stick with them, and that fanboy loyalty makes me want to defend my shop, even from myself.

Which brings me to my point (or my question, actually): What would it take to make you leave your shop for a different one?

Tony Stark is a punk

Let me say something right up front: I used to be a huge fan of Iron Man.

What's not to love about an incredibly smart, successful - but otherwise completely average - guy with a bad ticker and a stalker's fondness for the bottle who somehow still manages to be a superhero? He was a like a drunk Bruce Wayne, fighting evil because it's the right thing to do, as well as an awesome way to pick up chicks.

Plus, no other comic gave you more "KRANG!" and "BLONG!" sound effects except maybe Thor, and if both characters were in the same issue you practically needed earplugs to read it.

As you can imagine, I was pretty unimpressed by what was done with the character during Civil War. Suddenly, Tony's not only a bit of an ass, he's completely amoral. A lot of that began with Iron Man and his Illuminati cronies shooting the Hulk into space "for the greater good," and quickly devolved from there. Now, Hulk's watched Gladiator like a million times and is coming back to Earth with a mad-on for pretty much everyone, but especially for the Illuminati and - you guessed it - Iron Man.

So Shellhead does the practical thing and suits up.


Whoa, wait a minute. What the hell is that? Let's take a closer look ...


Peek-a-boo, Spidey! Traded the "Iron Spider" suit for the black costume, huh? Yeah, good call.

So Iron Man, apparently aware he's about to get his metal ass welded to his face, decides to WRAP HIS ARMOR IN EVEN MORE ARMOR?!?

What a douche.

I used to love Iron Man, but I hope Hulk beats on him 'til he gets to the chewy Tony center.

Images from the upcoming World War Hulk #1

Friday Night Fights: The ol' one-two!

We'll miss Cap until they decide to resurrect 'im, but I think the Falcon's going to be A-OK.


Oh yeah ... he'll be just fine.

Bahlactus commands it!

The lame-ass return of GCP

So I seem to have finally gotten over the hump that is Work, but I'm just too tired to post anything substantial, much less anything about the MJ statue debate making the rounds.

I will say this, though: When I saw the statue, my first reaction was, "Oh, c'mon." Seriously, it's a ridiculous piece of merchandise. And yes, it's demeaning to women (and, in a much, much smaller way, to comic fans in general - I guess they figure we're all still in mom's basement, eh?). And of course some people are overreacting, and many more are underreacting, but hopefully all this heat will begin to generate some light.

There's been a lot of back-and-forth going on about the cheesecakiness of this statue (and others), and what it means in the greater scheme of things for how women are portrayed in the comics media, but so far I think I most like what Laura Hudson had to say. It's straight-forward, thoughtful and packed with common-sense, so go read it.

Speaking of cool, can you believe I just recently read Scott Pilgrim? I don't know what took me so long, either, but this weekend I read all three volumes that have been published, and I'm hooked.

Out of hundreds of pages of awesome, this may have been my favorite scene:


Scott Pilgrim - lovable jerk.

The Pull-list: 4-18-07

No time for love, Doctor Magnus! Who knew this whole "work" and "day-job" thing would be so demanding? Since I owe my soul to the company store, this weeks' pull-list is going to be charmingly simple - no fancy frills this time around.

Er ... yeah ... it's just a list. Sorry 'bout that. Keep your fingers crossed that work stops squatting on my head and giving me wet-willies before next week; now, on to the list!

52 #50: Almost there!

Army @ Love #2: I liked the first issue of this satire more each time I read it; looking forward to #2.

The Brave and The Bold #3: Pure awesome, now with more Blue Beetle.

Manhunter #30: Gets better and better; what hasn't killed it has made it stronger.

The Spirit #5: Great art, great writing and just a really great book.

Conan #39: Conan wants you to buy every book with his name on it, and I obey.


And maybe ...

World War III Parts 1-4: What the hell? Was I the only one who didn't know these four separate issues were coming out? And all at the same time? I feel a little manipulated here.

Death Dealer #1: Blame heavy metal album covers seeping into my head during my youth.


And if I could ...

The Professor's Daughter (graphic novel): First Second Books has been putting out some of the best original graphic novels for the past year or so, and this seems to be its latest addition to that list. A fun writer (though he did go on a bit in Vampire Loves) and gorgeous watercolor images puts this on my short list of trades and graphic novels.

Oh, Robin ...

Is that your solution to everything?

The Pull-list: 4-11-07

Do you know how many comics I bought last week? Since I didn't post a pull-list the answer is, "No, 'cause you're a slacker-ass slacker. Slacker."

But if I had posted you might've been surprised to see only two - just two - comics on my list and one of them was 52, which almost doesn't count. This week is a different story, with plenty of buttery-fresh comics to pile on your plate. I don't know what that means either; on to the list!

52 #49: I can't believe I've been buying this comic every week for almost a year (that's one for you, DC). I haven't missed an issue and neither has DC, putting it out every week without fail, which is incredible when you think about it. Not every issue has been a success. Some have felt like placeholders, some have been awkwardly written (or more often, awkwardly drawn), and worst of all some have been just plain boring. But overall? I've enjoyed this series and I'll be a little sorry to see it go. Not sorry enough to pick up Countdown (in your face, DC!), but I'm glad I kept up with it. Something I will miss are the consistently fantastic covers - I think this one might be my all-time favorite of the bunch.

All Star Superman #7: I hate to sound like an aging fanboy who looks back at the comics of 30 years ago with a fondness usually reserved for junior high school girlfriends and other impossible things, but I really dig the Silver Age vibe Grant Morrison has put into this title. And what I really, really like about it is the fact that it's all of the fun with none of the stupid. Weird, crazy things happen on an alarmingly regular basis in Morrison's Metropolis, but for some reason it all makes sense and even has an undertone of menace. Bad things happen and Superman can't save everyone, even though he tries like hell. My only complaint: Wasn't Superman supposed to be dying? What's happened to that little plot-point? Hopefully it'll be picked up again in this issue and if not ... who cares, it's got Bizarro! Oh, and Frank Quitely's doing his best work here, so check it out. first issue preview

BPRD Garden of Souls #2: So I typed something out, changed my mind because it sounded so corny and deleted it, and then changed my mind again because there's just something special about B.P.R.D. The title is melancholic and beautiful, with an atmosphere and characters that seem undeniably lonely. Everyone has questions and no one has all the answers, and in a weird way you relate to these fire-starters and fish-men. Sure, there are all sorts of supernatural goings-on, but they almost seem secondary to the missions of self-discovery the characters are put through. This is, quite frankly, the most emo book I read and I make no apologies. Plus, there's almost always some terrible monster that wants to eat someone's face. preview

Conan and The Midnight God #3: Dark Horse has been putting out so many Conan books that I actually have trouble keeping them all straight. But it doesn't really matter, because almost all of them have been winners (still looking at you, Jewels of Gwahlur). This is the second mini-series to tell a story of King Conan, and it's interesting to see the differences in the older, somewhat wiser ruler of Aquilonia. Of course, it's also fun to see things haven't changed that much; when someone talks smack and threatens his wife and country, the first thing Conan does is grab a sword and declare war. I've said it before about other Conan books and I'll happily, even giddily, say it again; somebody's gonna get their head chopped off. preview

Fell #8: Tell me you're reading Fell. Seriously, pleeeease tell me you've been reading Fell. If you haven't been reading this title, a: I pity you, and b: I pity you some more. And also kick you. Each issue is a self-contained story about police detective Richard Fell and the creepy city of Snowtown, where everyone seems a little screwed up and where they do very screwed up things to each other. Warren Ellis keeps his stories to a tight 19 pages, using recurring characters and themes that tie everything together while hinting at a larger plot. Plus, the gorgeous artwork of Ben Templesmith helps make the stark and moody Snowtown a character in itself. Do yourself a favor and pick this up (and avoid the ankle bruising). read the first issue!

Madman Atomic Comics #1: I have a soft spot for Madman. I'm not saying I always understand what's going on, but still. OK, let me try to explain a little: Frank Einstein (who's name isn't really Frank Einstein) was a guy who died and came back, complete with amnesia, blue skin, better-than-average acrobatic skills and a little pseudopod thingy that wiggles its way out of his forehead every now and then. He's got a hot girlfriend, a mad scientist for a mentor, and lives in a world that 50s sci-fi movie directors would tut-tut as unrealistic. There are random acts of philosophy. Mutant beatniks. A copius amount of robots. People say "ginchy" and "swell" without irony. Madman is basically a lot of fun, and I've heard that this first issue of the relaunch is a sort of flashback to past storylines, so now's a great time to hop on if you haven't already. preview

Utopiates #4: I've got a problem with Utopiates - I had a hard time finding it anywhere. I picked up the first issue at my local comic shop and naively thought I'd be able to pick it up the next month. Which means I didn't put it on my pull-list. Which means I missed the second issue because NOT ONE of the many comic shops in Austin was carrying it. Even the people at the big, popular store that prides itself on having the best indie selection in the city looked at me as if I was asking for a fried weasel. According to the publishers, I'm not the only one having this problem, and they're asking readers to tell their favorite shops to order copies of Utopiates so people can find it and, hopefully, become regular readers. I learned my lesson and put this title on my list after missing the second issue, and you should, too. Utopiates is a smart and interesting read about a near-future world where a drug offers what might be the ultimate addiction - the chance to be someone else, even if just for a little while. It doesn't hurt that this black-and-white indie is great to look at, with a style that manages to be photorealistic and sketchy at the same time. Do yourself - and the title - a favor and ask your store to put it on the shelves. (Oh, but don't look for this cover because I couldn't find an image for #4; this was the cover to #3. Something to think about, Bloodfire Studios). first issue preview

Wasteland #8: The concept behind this title shouldn't work. It's set in a post-apocalyptic world where everyone's agreed it's Western Day. There are mutants in the desert, hoity-toity "benefactors" running one of the only cities left, and a Man With No Name (OK, he's got a name, but you know what I mean) shepherding a bunch of refugees to civilization. It doesn't really sound like anything new, right. But it's so damn good! Wasteland is one of the best books of the year so far, with a subtly complex storyline bolstered by simple but evocative artwork. The first volume has been collected in trade, and I'd recommend starting with that and picking things up with the monthly issues - you don't want to miss what's been going on, and you won't want to wait until the next trade comes out. preview

Only sorta about comics (but not really)

The other day my wife and I were telling a co-worker about our hometown, and somehow the conversation ended up on Jay J. Armes, a former city council member and WORLD-FAMOUS PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR!

Since I grew up with Armes as a regular part of the landscape, it was easy to forget how much pure awesome this guy is packed with; I don't remember him being much of a councilman, but check out this resume:

Blew off both of his hands with dynamite when he was 12, later replacing them with gripping steel hooks!

Last name: Armes!

Rescued Christian-son-of-Marlon Brando from kidnappers!

Has a specially made prosthetic housing a .22 magnum!

Played a deranged sniper called The Hookman on Hawaii Five-O!

Has his own action figure!

Runs his own international PI business!

Has a movie in development with Stan Lee's company, Pow Entertainment! (there's your comicy content)

OK, honestly, I don't know what's going on with that development deal since it was first announced in January 2005 and I haven't been able to dig up anything more recent, but I hereby officially support this film. According to some sources, Scott Lobdell (more comicness!) has already written a first draft of the script.

And it's called "Hooked" for God's sake. This, kids, is Stan the Man's special genius.

If nothing else, looking all this up helped endear him to me all over again (he would genuinely seem like a nice guy when you ran into him around town). His huge plot of land, only a couple of miles from where I lived, was legendary in my neighborhood. I didn't grow up in a well-off area, so a mysterious compound surrounded by a tall golden fence featuring gates emblazoned with a huge "J.J." and crossed guns had an effect. Plus, he was known to have jungle cats that prowled the property after dark.

Holy crap ... I think I just overdosed on kick-assery.

I hope the movie does get made someday. At the very least, I'd love to see a Human Target-style comic come out of this - after all, the guy's practically OMAC! He's even got a similar affection for wacky head decor.


How could you lose?

The Pull-list: 3-14-07

Wow, it looks like a short week for the Post. Luckily for me, this week's all about quality, not quablah-blah-blah! Let's go!

52 #45: Funny how things turn around, isn't it? Not funny-ha-ha, more like funny oh-my-God-am-I-stepping-on-intestines? For the most part, I'm still enjoying 52, but I don't think I'd say it's as much fun as it had been in the first two-thirds of its run. The storyline has taken a much darker turn in the last few issues, and the transition has been a little jarring. Overall it continues to be a solid story, and honestly there hasn't been anything in the plot that doesn't make at least some kind of sense, but shouldn't readers get a little more warning before you start slapping them around? Then again, you can bet Black Adam's gonna snap and that bastard's crazy.

B.P.R.D.: Garden of Souls #1 (of 5): Mike Mignola long ago set a high bar for himself and his collaborators with the world of Hellboy, and that bar keeps inching up. Subtle horror-action stories stay true to the background while still building on it, and at the same time weave in almost invisible plot lines between stories to keep everything tied together. Top it off with well-chosen art and you've got a modern classic that continues to build on it's own mythology. Don't believe me? Blasphemer! Why don't you check out the preview, you dirty non-believer. Dirty, dirty ... um ... sorry, what were we talking about?

The Damned #5: Hands-down, this has been one of my favorite mini-series of the last 12 months or so; if there is a god - or a devil - there'll be more of The Damned after it wraps things up with this final issue. I've mentioned before how much I've enjoyed this series, and it's a gift that keeps on giving. A nice little noir mystery is wrapped up in a world of demon gangsters, an undying flunky anti-hero and an ex-girlfriend who's now the moll of a mob boss (you decide which is the most dangerous). And did I mention that the art is awesome? 'Cause it is.

Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse #6: Huh ... the list is certainly heavy on the supernatural this week, ain't it? Can I help it if there's been a nice little rise in quality horror-based comics? Can I?!? The answer is yes, by buying the good stuff like Wormwood and encouraging everyone out there to fork it over, too. Look at this preview. There's great, tongue-in-rotting-cheek characters, a fun story with an undercurrent of menace, and beautifully unique artwork that gets better with every issue - seriously, how can you resist pit-fighting leprechauns? Or a demon-worm occupying the corpse of a little girl? You can't, so just stop trying.

Favorite Panel Friday: Shazam! The Monster Society of Evil

Let's just get something out of the way - Jeff Smith gets it.

His retelling - and reinvention - of the Captain Marvel origin is so much fun it makes me want to put on a thunderbolt T-shirt, wrap a towel around my neck and run around the house yelling, "Shazam! Shazam!"

Smith has packed a lot of story into just the first two issues of his four-issue mini-series, Shazam! The Monster Society of Evil, and enough pitch-perfect character moments to make me depressed with the fact it's not a regular series. Attention DC: If you're really looking for that fabled "gateway" comic that will appeal to a broad range of fans and bring in new readers at the same time, guess what? You've already got it.

That panel up there proves it. That's just a taste of what amounts to Captain Marvel smacking around mouthy alligator-men for ... let's see ... one, two ... five pages! Stupid, stupid alligator-men!

Plus there's some wonderful moments with Dr. Sivana (of course he works for the government); the newly found, pain-in-the-butt little sister Mary Marvel; and a giant robot threatening to "remove all trace of human civilization." How cool is that?

And it's even given us a new quote to throw around. I know I'm just waiting for the chance to yell out, "We've lost! Quick! Eat the children!"

Shazam! The Monster Society of Evil #2: Jeff Smith, writer/artist

Wait - what?!?

SPOILER ALERT!

Seriously, if you haven't read any other comic book blogs or news sites, or read the New York Daily News, or turned on the TV or radio - well, dig yourself a hole and stay in it if you don't want to know about this earlier than you might've planned.

No, really. Don't do it. It's in the headline and everything.

I'll talk about this at a later date, but right now I can't even talk about what I might talk about without spoiling Captain America #25.