I hope you're lathered up and ready to go, Stubbles — it's time for the fourth and final installment of ...
WTF Wednesday Presents:
The Beard Hunter!
The Beard Hunter!
As we know from the last episode, the Beard Hunter has been pulled from his lonely ... oh, so lonely ... war on facial hair to take down a specific target — leader of the Doom Patrol, Niles Caulder! Having so far dodged the Beard Hunter in the aisles of the grocery store he was ambushed in, Caulder is on the run from the mighty Razor of Vengeance.
Meanwhile, the Beard Hunter's earlier escapades haven't escaped notice, and the cops are on his trail! Yes, cops ... with mustaches.
That guy looks like Stalin! At least his mom will stick up for this troubled and complex man, right? And at last someone will be able to shed some light on the five 'o clock shadow of his soul!
Uh ... aaaanyway, if you think our hero would be bothered to hear this, think again! As he trails the scraggly Caulder through the store, Ernest Franklin is already making plans for the blood money he'll be receiving from the Bearded Gentlemen's Club of Metropolis. Plans so nefarious, they're almost inhuman — self-publishing!
Caulder has been up to his own plans though, laying a devious trap composed of exposed wiring, aluminum foil and corn flakes. Finally, the Beard Hunter has Caulder in his sights, closing in for the kill and then, in an act of bitter irony ...
As the curtain closes on the Beard Hunter, he has time to reflect and ponders how many volts that was, anyway (his guess? "A lot."), and laments the fact that he never got around to dating. And then, a bright light and he sees the face of his heavenly reward.
And thus, the running gag comes home ...
Turn your shaving mugs over, my friends, and join me in honoring this bane of the bristled, our fallen warrior ... the Beard Hunter!
A CLOSER SHAVE!
And now, a rare look inside the rat's nest that is the Bearded Gentlemen's Club of Metropolis:
Heeeey ... that dude in the middle looks familiar ...
HOLY CRAP! A CONTEST!!
I had so much fun with this series, I want to share it! Send me a picture of yourself stroking your own evil beard in an evil manner (as the bearded evilly do), and the best one will get a copy of the Doom Patrol Vol. 4: Musclebound paperback, featuring the story of the Beard Hunter! And don't feel left out, ladies! Fake beards are allowed (the better to infiltrate the BGCM) — just be creative!
You can enter by posting your photo to your blog and sending me a link in the comments section of this post, or e-mail your photo to maxoromero [at] gmail [dot] com: A winner will be announced next Wednesday, February 27, featuring the winning picture! Good luck!
Panels from Doom Patrol #45
Grant Morrison, writer; Vince Giarrano, penciller; Malcolm Jones III, inker